Day 3

 "Do you want to get married one day?" Pastor Tolliver asked me. He sat at his desk and I sat in the chair placed squarely in front of him in his office.

"No. I don't like the idea of submitting to someone else," I said. I was thirteen.

"Well, marriage isn't all about submission," he began, then explained what he thought it was about.

I mainly forget what he said now. But I know I left out of that office largely unconvinced.

Marriage meant submission to another individual. I'd seen my mom and dad enough to know. Having to submit to another individual, having them tell you what to do, not being free to be yourself, was bad.

I didn't want to submit. So I didn't want marriage.

Not then. And not for many years after that.

I couldn't see myself getting married. I couldn't see myself having children. I didn't want either.

I wanted to be independent.  I wanted to be free. I didn't want anyone telling me what to do. I wanted to be free to be me.